True and Lasting Joy
On the “Blessed with Bipolar” Facebook page, I recently asked, “What do you need to accomplish before you can have true and lasting joy?”
I received many intriguing answers, including, “A stable mind and healthy body,” “Acceptance,” and “Food stamps.” But the response that most caught my attention was, “Dying.” It also happens to be the most direct way of stating what I was really getting at by asking the question in the first place.
The key words in the question are “need” and “joy.” What do they mean and what do they have to do with each other? Without checking a dictionary, I’ll give you my definition. (Hey, it’s my blog and I’m not writing for my old Law Professors. I get to make my own definitions here!)
Need: an absolute must; something you cannot possibly do without.
Joy: a deep inner peace, satisfaction, and sense of well-being that is not dependent upon your circumstances.
Hmmm . . . ? If you accept those definitions, then the phrase “not dependent upon your circumstances” gives away the answer to the question, “What do you need to accomplish to have a true and lasting joy?”
If I need any worldly thing in order to have joy, then I will never have true and lasting joy. That’s why I was so intrigued by the answer “Dying.” If I want to have true and lasting joy, I must die to my worldly desires – and that means dying to myself. Isn’t that simple logic?
How can I have true and lasting joy if it depends upon having some thing or relationship? Aren’t all things and relationships temporary? Or, at least, in constant danger of ending immediately or changing drastically? And with them goes my joy. If I depend upon those things for joy, then even while I have them I will be anxious, dissatisfied, and lacking a sense of well-being. Because I will always, on some level, desperately fear losing them.
So, how do I get this real joy? Well, logic would seem to say, “Give up your needs.” And Jesus says, “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” (Luke 17:33) And there are many who would say, “You’re nuts! Are you telling me that the only way to have real joy is to give up every damn thing and go live homeless and alone in the street?!”
No. I’m not even telling you that we should not “want” and strive for things and relationships. I’m telling you that if you do end up homeless and alone in the street, it is still possible to have real joy. Because true and lasting joy does not – and cannot – depend upon those temporary things and people that you strove for, gained, and lost. Real joy depends upon that which is eternal and never-changing. Real joy depends upon that which is the “same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) And when you find that, you will have “learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:12)
Richard Jarzynka, author of BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR follow on Facebook
on April 28th, 2010 at 2:16 PM
Love what you’ve written here about dying to your worldly desires. The toast when I married my husband was “may you have all of your needs and none of your wants” because we believe that our joy and happiness depends on us getting out of the way and letting our Higher Powers (his is Jesus, mine Buddha Tara) arrange our lives according to their Will.
Good or bad, nothing in life lasts and so even good things carry the seeds of suffering. Like you say, only in a Higher Power can the eternal be found and so that’s the only lasting joy.
OK I admit it – I was the one who answered “dying”. I was in a pretty dark place at the time or I wouldn’t have risked being so honest. But you’ve made me glad for my honesty so thanks for that
on April 28th, 2010 at 5:03 PM
Hope, I’ve been in that dark place. But that dark place forced me to die to myself. I have to keep doing that – dying to myself, giving my pride, not clinging to the things of this world – but it’s easier now.
on July 10th, 2010 at 12:17 PM
wow..amazing that will be healthy
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The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.
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on April 5th, 2011 at 7:20 AM
I think there is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness can be temporarly and joy is something you can have even times when things are not so good. I have seen people with nothing but they still have joy, no education work for a minimum lone and they are joyfull, so I do not think it is what is around you but what is in you. It is hard because to find that place where one can say I have found what is in me.
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on November 10th, 2011 at 5:32 PM
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