By RICHARD JARZYNKA, author of BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR

(Excerpt from the upcoming book, “Holy Mood-Hell! : A 21-Day Plan to Turn Pain to Blessing”)

If we want to dig up the treasures buried in our pain, then, in the same way that
an athlete visualizes his future performance, we must first imagine the
possibility that there are blessing in our pain. We must see it happening. That
may sound crazy. (I do have bipolar.) But if it is crazy,
then you are crazy enough to get the job done.

How do I know that?

Because if you have picked up this book and persevered into the middle of the second
chapter, then you are already imagining some potential treasures buried in
whatever terror you are enduring – and the blessings that you will force out of
your pain. You may even be imagining some plans for how you might make it
happen.

Imagine yourself already stepping into the hope and the future that God has promised.

You say you don’t know what God has promised. All the better! You are free to
imagine anything you want. You don’t need to know the specifics. In this
chapter, you get to fill in the details. Just know that His will for you is
hope, joy, love, and a peace that is beyond human understanding – beyond anything
that you can possibly imagine.

So I say, “If God has something tremendous for you that is beyond anything you
can imagine, why not LET YOUR MIND RUN FREE.
And wild!”

Ask yourself, “What good might there be in what I am going through?” And expect to
get an answer.

Ask yourself, “What good have I already seen in this trouble? What good can I make
come out of this?”

And ask God, “Lord, how are you working for good in this?” An know that He is
-  because that is something that He has
definitely promised. Romans 8:28 may well be my ‘life verse.’ And it says, “We
know that in ALL things God
works for the good of those who love him, those He has called according to his
purpose.” Don’t just believe that. Live it! Make it a part of who you are. God
will honor that promise! He will fulfill it. He is at work for your good. Even
now. Even in this terror that you are living through. (If He gave up His only
Son for you, will He not also use this pain to bless you – abundantly?) And you
are living through it. It will
end!

by Richard Jarzynka,   author of BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR www.bipolarman.org

DAY
2

IMAGINING

“I know the
plans I have for you” says the Lord “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

If you want to dig up the treasures buried in your pain, then you must first imagine the
possibility that there are blessings in your pain.

You will not accomplish anything in the future that you have not first imagined in
the present. And you may need to imagine it so vividly that it already seems
past.

Athletes know this instinctively.

A major league shortstop sees groundballs coming at him in his sleep and all day
long – before he ever takes the field. And he sees himself making the play
perfectly. He sees himself going to his left, snaring a bad hop with ease,
gliding across second base, sailing over the runner, and throwing – all in one
motion to complete the double-play. He sees himself diving and stabbing a
rocket on his backhand and firing to first-base to get the runner by a
step-and-a-half.

The shortstop so keenly imagines himself making those plays that he more than sees it in his mind. He
feels it in his bones. By the time he takes the field, he has so fully
rehearsed those future plays in his mind that it’s as if they are already past.
Only then is he really ready to make them.

Before I ran the Pittsburgh Marathon in 1997, I had somebody drive me through the
entire length of the course so I could focus on every scene along the way. In
the days before the race, I spent time deliberately imagining myself running
through each of those scenes. I saw the neighborhood streets crowded with
spectators. I heard the music playing. I imagined myself being passionately
pushed forward by the cheers of the people lining the course. I felt the
exhilaration, the energy, and the fatigue – days before the race – by playing
games with my mind. I even wanted to feel the pain – as bad as I could create
it with my brain. (I fell short on this count. By the time I hit 22 miles, it
was more than I had dreamed.) I needed to be prepared for it. And as I felt
that imagined pain, I said in my mind and whispered out loud the things I would
need to tell myself and believe at 16 or 18 or 23 miles. I knew that I would
need to force myself to persevere – so I imagined myself forcing myself to
persevere through fatigue and pain and maybe even injury. “Go. Go. C’mon, Rich.
It’s only eight more miles. Only eight?! Yes! Too many of your friends know
about this. Do you want to have to tell them that you quit?! It’s only eight more miles. You’ve run
eight miles a bunch of times. Do it again!”

And I did.

Because I had so vividly imagined running the marathon before the day of the race, when
the time came to actually hit the pavement, it seemed as though I had done it
before. The last eight miles were almost excruciating. It was the first time
that running had ever caused pain in my hips. I could feel them grinding. My
knees and back were aching-stiff. If it had been any other day, I would have
quit on the spot at twenty miles. By twenty-two, I could only think one step at
time – and those steps were not nearly as long as they had been three hours
earlier. But I was prepared. I had rehearsed the scenes and the fatigue and the
pain. And when I saw a young women leap wildly off of the sidewalk, her eyes
blazing joy straight into mine, and yelp, “Go, man! You can do it. Go,” I knew
that I had been there before – and made it. I yelped deliriously right back at
her. Pure joy – at 22 bone-screaming miles. I could have kissed her. I should have kissed her.

If I had never mentally pictured myself running those 26.2 miles and crossing that
finish line, it never would have happened.

If we want to dig up the treasures buried in our pain, then, in the same way tha
tan athlete visualizes his future performance, we must first imagine the
possibility that there are blessing in our pain. We must see it happening. That
may sound crazy. (I do have bipolar.) But if it is crazy, then you are crazy enough to get the job done.

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by Richard Jarzynka,   author of  BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR

My mother once told a fool, “You’re not going to put him in a box.”

He had tried to figure me out and was stunned when I didn’t match his label.

A woman recently wrote to me, “You’re an enigma, Richard. I can’t figure you out.” And I responded, “You have figured me out! I’m an enigma.”

What’s my point here?

That I am not just bipolar. And neither is anybody else who has bipolar. We have valid and valuable ideas, opinions, and perspectives on every issue known to man.

So, I am not going to box myself in to writing only about bipolar. My thoughts and experiences go far beyond that. If I allowed myself to be cornered into the dark claustrophobia of writing only about bipolar, I would soon be unable to write anything.

Therefore, this blog and the “Blessed with Bipolar” Facebook page are going expand to other issues that excite my attention.

I hope that writing about other issues will help me to reach more people  and demonstrate that bipolars are more than bipolar. But, more importantly, it will make it more interesting for me.

Why is that so important?

Because the day I lose interest is the day this blog will cease to exist.

Please click on the “Share” button at the bottom of this post. It will enable you to quickly re-post this page to your Facebook page. That will help me to expand my audience – and, yes, I intend for that to expand my book sales. Just pure, shameless, American-capitalist self-interest. The motivation without which the rest of the world would still be moving its bowels outdoors by candle-light.


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by Richard Jarzynka, Author of Blessed with Bipolar

www.Bipolarman.org Facebook

A car slammed my plans for a great evening right into a hospital emergency room.

The good news is that I don’t seem to have any serious injuries – stiff neck and lower back that will probably be worse in the morning. But the very good news is that my bipolar did not get the best of me – in a situation where I could have blown a fuse.

I was on my way to a minor-league baseball double-header in Altoona, PA. (Something I have been looking forward to since the Seasonal Affective Disorder days of mid-February.) It’s a two-hour drive and I was just about halfway there when I saw a car stopped in front of me and hit my breaks. As I got closer, I realized that I wasn’t stopping quite fast enough, so, I jumped hard on the breaks. Thank God that I stopped on time.

However . . . the man driving the car behind me didn’t jump quite hard enough.

I stopped, looked in the rear-view mirror, and saw it coming. Bang! My head and torso shot forward and then jammed back as I my car was pushed down the road.

I’m amazed at how calm I remained. I sat there for a few seconds to check my senses, realized that I wasn’t seriously injured, and quickly concluded that there was going to be one less fan at the double-header. I turned off the engine, got out of the car, and clamly took care of business.

When I told the EMT’s that my neck and back were stiff, they asked if I wanted to go to a hospital, and I decided that it was best to be evaluated by a doctor. I wanted to play it safe. so did the EMT’s. I ended up on a backboard in ambulance with a brace around my neck.

The doctor in the ER said ibuprofen and a little time should take care of my stiff neck and back. I’m obviously happy about that, but I’m just as happy that I didn’t get bipolar angry, depressed, irritable, anxious, loud, yelling, veins-bulging, ranting, red-faced, and ready to fist-fight. That could have happened. I do have bipolar.

Today, I was blessed with bipolar.

Please pray for the woman who was a passenger in the car that hit me. She was not visibly injured, but she is pregnant and was understandably very emotional. Please pray for her and the baby. Thank you.

by Richard Jarzynka,   author of BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR www.Bipolarman.org

Are you aware of the very first signs that your mood might be changing?

I noticed this morning that I was complaining to myself about some things, but I didn’t think much of it. I was having trouble with the computer and then I started tryiing to get several things done at the same time. It wasn’t good, but I didn’t see a crash coming.

I went to a mall to do some reading and writing and was planning to go to the gym after that. While I was in the food court, I realized that I had a headache. I wanted to force myself to go to the gym. I had my workout clothes with me and the gym was just five minutes away. I only wanted to do 30 minutes on the Step Mill. A quick cardio workout and I could be on my way back home. I could push through the headache. I could also push myself too far and have a mood melt-down.

I went home and took 50 more milligrams of zoloft.

I might have been okay if I had gone to the gym, but I think I made a wise decision. It has taken a long time, but I am now much better at recognizing the first signs of a changing mood and taking action to keep it from going out of control.

The gym will still be there tomorrow.

by Richard Jarzynka,  author of Blessed with Bipolar,          www.Bipolarman.org

Are you placing unnecessary obligations on yourself? Have others placed their unwanted expectations on you? Have you turned their expectations into unnecessary obligations – that you really do NOT want to fulfill and absolutely do NOT need to fulfill?

Are you allowing these false obligations to put pressure on you that could be thrown off? Pressure that could get ugly?

Once upon a long manic time ago, I felt obligated to attend family gatherings. So, no matter how bipolar I might have felt at the time, I forced myself to go to the parties, etc… Sometimes, they went wonderfully and everybody, including me, had a terrific time. Sometimes, I just endured without incident, although my head was pounding with unspoken complaints, guilt, attacks upon myslf and others, and an unrelenting desire to just get my ass out of there as soon as possible. And . . . sometimes . . . it exploded for all to see.

I now give myself permission to just stay home when I want to – or leave early. If I’m feeling bipolar miserable, it is better for everyone involved for me to drop the false feeling of obligation and simply do what I need to do to stay sane.

Of course, there are some projects and practices that are unavoidable obligations. But, even with those, you might be able to break the time limits and expectations. Does it really need to be done today?

I once forced myself to set out on a 600 mile trip to Nashville. Before I reached the first interstate, I felt the cracking ache of a brain-fog, tinged with an emerging desire to growl at the first idiot who came close to cutting me off. I saw the traffic jammed up just beyond the red-light and I imagined myself grinding and griping through the next ten hours. I turned around, drove home, and took a nap at 10:00am.

I made the trip a few days – and a couple of rising moods – later. To the unknown relief of thousands of unsuspecting motorists across the hills and planes of Pennsylvania, Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that stress can make us do crazy-bad things. So, figure out what is – and what is not – an obligation. Give up the unnecessary ones, strip the lid off of the pressure, drop your drawers, and take a slide on the ice!

Richard Jarzynka    Bipolarman.org

by Richard Jarzynka, author of BLESSED with BIPOLAR

Does bipolar affect the way you view the world and the issues of the day?

I think that somehow bipolar helps me to see both sides of an issue. Maybe because I can “feel the emotion” on both sides of the issue and that might move me to “consider the reasoning” on both sides.

For instance: In “Blessed with Bipolar,” I write about being able to feel the emotion on both sides of the death penalty issue. When I hear about somebody brutally murdering a child, I feel like strangling that person with my bear hands. But in that anger, I also begin to feel that strangling that person would make me a murderer – just like him.

And somewhere inside of me I start to feel like I don’t want that person to die. He deserves to be put to death. No doubt about that. And his monstrous crime enrages me. But I start to feel like he is still a human being, too. And I know that, although I’ve never killed anybody, I have done many bad things – over and over. And I wonder whether life in prison might be a better option. And my feelings force me to look logically at both sides of the argument.

Have you ever been able to feel the emotions on both sides of an issue? I am a capitalist and I believe that every able-bodied person should work for a living, but I also feel compassion for those who need to be taken care of. I am pro-life, but I also Doebelieve that a 16 year-old pregnant girl needs to be loved more than ever.

Does bipolar enable you to identify with another person’s emotions? Does it give you more empathy for people that you disagree with? Is that a blessing of bipolar?

Richard Jarzynka        Facebook – blessed with bipolar Buy BLESSED with BIPOLAR  on AMAZON.com

Professional Review of BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR

Review by Lisa C. DeLuca

Blessed With Bipolar, by Richard Jarzynka – Courtesy of Richard Jarzynka

Richard H. Jarzynka’s Blessed With Bipolar is a triumph on so many levels, it is a privilege to review this book about one man’s spiritual journey in dealing with, understanding and managing Bipolar Disorder.

Readers will look forward to climbing into bed with this book, they will think about it in between readings and they will miss it long after they turn the last page. Richard Jarzynka wrote Blessed With Bipolar to give hope to people who have Bipolar Disorder, but this important book will appeal to a much wider audience.

Understanding Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Anger and Human Imperfection

Readers get to know Jarzynka, who holds back no intimate detail when it comes to listing his weaknesses, (particularly his struggle with bipolar anger) his screw-ups, and some low points of his life. Readers will relate to his struggle with his own imperfection, even if the particular symptoms of his disorder are not universally experienced.

by Richard Jarzynka       author of  BLESSED with BIPOLAR

I like to ask on my Facebook page, “What will you accomplish today?” But the fact of the matter is that we accomplish something big every day just by living with bipolar. And every other achievement that we attain is made even greater because we did it while living with bipolar.

I know that all people have challenges in their lives – some severe challenges – and I don’t mean to minimize those challenges, but when your own brain attacks your thinking and moods . . .?! It makes it hard to think your way through even the simple challenges.

But we do it! Every day!

And that is one reason why I ask, “What will you accomplish today?” I know that if you have the strength to live with bipolar, then you have the strength to accomplish the things you are able to set your mind to – when you are able to set your mind to them. I want to encourage you to set and pursue goals because I know how tough you are – and I know that bipolar has given you gifts – maybe some strange gifts – that you can use in unique ways. I even believe that there are ways that bipolar can make us more capable than the so-called ‘normal.’

We see the world in a way unlike people who do not have bipolar. And, believe it or not, that is valuable to the world. If you haven’t noticed, the world can be a pretty screwed up place. I know that we who have bipolar get plenty of things wrong and make some big mistakes – just like everybody else – but I think the world can benefit from our unique perspective on life. We know human emotion more intensely than they can possibly imagine. Maybe that can give us a different kind of compassion for people who are struggling. Maybe we can use a little different kind of imagination in our approach to problems. And when a situation desperately calls for somebody who isn’t afraid to look a little crazy . . .? Who is better equipped than us?

HOWEVER! I also know that sometimes the most important thing for us to accomplish is to just get some rest, to take care of ourselves, to stay fairly stable. I know for myself that when I have been deeply depressed, just getting my head out from being buried in the couch pillows is a great accomplishment. Sometimes, just getting out of the house and walking down the street is a bigger accomplishment than running a marathon. ( I know. I’ve done both.  I believe that bipolar helped to give me the intensity and drive to make the 26.2 miles, but it can also make a walk done the street an enormous challenge.)

GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT! Always! You accomplish great things everyday just by living with bipolar. And there are some people who may never tell you, but they see it. And they are inspired – by you! I am inspired by you.

Richard Jarzynka  – BLESSED with BIPOLAR

by Richard Jarzynka,   author of BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR

It is abundantly clear to me that most of us who have bipolar disorder also have a whole lot of trouble with sleep. It is also abundantly clear that most doctors don’t have a clue as to what to do about it.

Doctors prescribe a bunch of different sleep medications for us -from benadryl to benzos – but very few doctors seem to consider the relationship between bipolar disorder and the sleep disruptions that we experience. They tells us that sleep difficulties are a symptom of bipolar and that lack of sleep can be the start of a manic episode. But do they ever get to the underlying cause?

I scanned and reviewed several articles on bipolar and sleep before writing this post and only one said something significantly more than “sleep is a problem for people who have bipolar.” (As if we didn’t already know that.)

The writers tried to be helpful with tips like “go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning,” and “don’t drink caffeine.” But that doesn’t get at the source of the problem. In fact, it shows that, in spite of their best intentions, the writers simply don’t understand that on a manic 2-hour sleep night the only thing affected by our bedtime is how long we are going to lie there wide awake.

Most doctors just don’t seem to understand why – or even whether – there is a connection between bipolar and sleep disturbances. One psychiatrist, whom I will not name, even seemed to blame us  for our bipolar sleep problems. He said that the problem results in large part from our “lack of lifestyle scheduling.” I think he ought to schedule himself for an enema. He’s full of it. No amount or precision of scheduling my life is going to help me sleep when my brain is wired – and it isn’t going to help me wake up when I am so depressed that I feel like I’m in a coma all day long.

The only real attempt at a medical explanation that I have found regarding sleep and bipolar comes from Dr. Marty Hinz at http://www.neuroassist.com/Insomnia.htm. He believes that insomnia, depression, bipolar, restless leg syndrome,fibromyalgia, and a host of other neurological disorders are all strongly impacted by the depletion or imbalance of the neurotransmitters in the brain. Other doctors may agree with that, but Dr. Hinz has actually come up with a treatment that attempts to get to the source of the problem.

Dr. Hinz works to balance the neurotransmitters rather than merely treating symptoms with anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, sedatives, and anti-psychotics. (I am using the treatment developed by Dr. Hinz, but I also still take an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer and I would not recommend that anyone go off of their meds without their doctors knowledge and input.)

Through my ordeal with restless leg syndrome (RLS), I was led to seek treatment with Dr. Jacob Mirman, a physician who was trained by Dr. Hinz. He has treated me with a combination of amino acids designed to address to my specific disorders by balancing my personal neurotransmitter levels.

The amino acids have greatly helped me, but they have not yet given me complete relief from my RLS symptoms. I have, however, been able to get completely off of my RLS medication, Requip, which had caused my bipolar symptoms to forcefully return after a three-year remission. With the help of the amino acids, my RLS symptoms have gone from severe to very mild, I get to sleep much more quickly and easily, and I sleep soundly for a solid eight hours on most nights. And the bipolar symptoms are under better control than they have been in over three months.

I cannot guarantee that the amino acid treatment developed by Dr. Hinz will work for everyone. But if, like most of us who have bipolar, you struggle with sleep, it may be a good idea to try to treat the possible source of the problem – in addition to taking your medications to alleviate the symptoms.

Click here to view Dr. Mirman’s website.

Richard Jarzynka,           FACEBOOK – BLESSED WITH BIPOLAR